Vitals Stable. Nurse Unhinged.

Vitals stable. Nurse: unhinged.

Loud. Caffeinated. Dangerous. The kind of unhinged that runs a code with one earbud in and a granola bar in the front pocket of her scrubs. The kind that responds to a Code Brown with a sigh, a third pair of gloves, and a question about whether the patient has any family who could maybe come help. The kind of unhinged that should probably take a mental health day but is, instead, picking up a double on Saturday because rent.

What you're getting

• Size. 3" round, kiss-cut. Fits a badge reel, water bottle, charting tablet, or the back of your laptop. Big enough to be read across the nurses' station, small enough to fly under the manager's radar.
• Material. Weatherproof, sanitizer-survivable vinyl. Holds up to 12-hour shifts, full-arm bleach scrubs, and the occasional accidental sleeve-soak in a Code Brown.
• Print. Matte finish, no glare under fluorescent lighting. Reads clean from the foot of the bed and from across a nurses' station. Will not fade after the 47th sanitizer wipe.
• Adhesive. Repositionable for the first 24 hours. After that, it's committed. Like you, in year 7, telling everyone you're going to leave bedside but, somehow, picking up another double next weekend.

Send it to

For the nurse who's just figured out she's not coping, she's coping-adjacent. For the charge who runs the floor on caffeine and grit. For the friend who is, in fact, fine (debatable).

Pairs with

Pairs with the matching 20oz Tumbler for the cup-holder energy. Or grab the Shift Sticker Pack if you're going to keep buying singles anyway.

Stick it on. Own the unhinging. The illusion of stability is the only thing you have time to maintain.

For nurses who have run a code, charted "patient resting comfortably" while the patient was, in fact, screaming, and considered — fleetingly, in a parking lot, post-shift — leaving and never coming back. Vitals stable. Nurse: unhinged. Built by nurses, tested on night shift. Search-relevant: funny nurse sticker, dark humor nurse sticker, icu nurse sticker, nurse week gift, NCLEX gift.