Vitals Stable(ish). Sanity: LOL No.

Vitals: stable(ish). Crisis: contained. Sanity: lol absolutely not.

You stabilized a whole patient and you can't remember your computer password. You ran a rapid response, got cussed out by a confused 84-year-old, charted, restocked the cart, and answered a call light about the wrong kind of warm blanket — all between 0215 and 0247. Vitals on the patient: textbook. Vitals on you: undocumented. The crisis is contained. It is contained inside your body. It is, frankly, building pressure.

What you're getting

• Size. 3" round, kiss-cut. Fits a badge reel, water bottle, charting tablet, or the back of your laptop. Big enough to be read across the nurses' station, small enough to fly under the manager's radar.
• Material. Weatherproof, sanitizer-survivable vinyl. Holds up to 12-hour shifts, full-arm bleach scrubs, and the occasional accidental sleeve-soak in a Code Brown.
• Print. Matte finish, no glare under fluorescent lighting. Reads clean from the foot of the bed and from across a nurses' station. Will not fade after the 47th sanitizer wipe.
• Adhesive. Repositionable for the first 24 hours. After that, it's committed. Like you, in year 7, telling everyone you're going to leave bedside but, somehow, picking up another double next weekend.

Send it to

For the trauma stepdown nurse who's seen too much. For the float pool warrior. For the nurse who answers "how was your shift" with a 2,000-yard stare and the word "fine."

Pairs with

Pairs with the matching 20oz Tumbler for the cup-holder energy. Or grab the Shift Sticker Pack if you're going to keep buying singles anyway.

Slap it on your badge. Let it be your answer when someone asks how you're holding up.

For nurses who have run a code, charted "patient resting comfortably" while the patient was, in fact, screaming, and considered — fleetingly, in a parking lot, post-shift — leaving and never coming back. Vitals: stable(ish). Crisis: contained. Sanity: lol absolutely not. Built by nurses, tested on night shift. Search-relevant: funny nurse sticker, dark humor nurse sticker, er nurse sticker, nurse week gift, NCLEX gift.