REPORT: Lies, Confessions & Regrets — Tumbler

Report: lies, confessions, and the slow creep of regret.

The 20oz for the morning after the worst hand-off of your career. The tumbler that held the coffee while the off-going nurse said "I'll keep this short" and then talked for 43 minutes about everything except the patient. You are running the shift on this report. You always do. The tumbler is the witness.

What you're getting

• Size. 20oz stainless steel. Fits any standard cup holder. Fits the entire emotional capacity of a 12-hour shift.
• Insulation. Double-walled vacuum. Cold drinks 24+ hours. Hot drinks 12+ hours. Outlasts your shift, your patience, and the second admit at 1830.
• Material. BPA-free, food-grade stainless. Includes lid + straw. Built to be slammed, dropped, kicked into a Pyxis, and survived.
• Care. Hand-wash only — print stays sharp through years of break-room abuse, fluorescent-light gaslighting, and the "good morning team!" emails sent at 2247.

Send it to

For the day-shift RN. For the night-shift veteran. For yourself, every 0700.

Pairs with

Pairs with the matching 11oz mug for the at-home version of this emotion, and the 3" sticker so your badge reel matches your cup holder.

Throw it in the cup holder. Brace for the assignment. Continue.

For nurses who have run a code, charted "patient resting comfortably" while the patient was, in fact, screaming, and considered — fleetingly, in a parking lot, post-shift — leaving and never coming back. Report: lies, confessions, and the slow creep of regret. Built by nurses, tested on night shift. Search-relevant: funny nurse tumbler, dark humor nurse tumbler, er nurse tumbler, nurse week gift, NCLEX gift.