Approach With Coffee Or GTFO

This nurse runs on caffeine. Approach with coffee, or GTFO.

Pre-coffee: do not engage. Pre-coffee: do not present new information. Pre-coffee: do not ask if she has a quick second to chat. The window for human contact opens at sip three and closes at sip seven. Within that window, all things are possible. Outside of it: hostility, deadpan, and the kind of eye contact that ends careers.

What you're getting

• Size. 3" round, kiss-cut. Fits a badge reel, water bottle, charting tablet, or the back of your laptop. Big enough to be read across the nurses' station, small enough to fly under the manager's radar.
• Material. Weatherproof, sanitizer-survivable vinyl. Holds up to 12-hour shifts, full-arm bleach scrubs, and the occasional accidental sleeve-soak in a Code Brown.
• Print. Matte finish, no glare under fluorescent lighting. Reads clean from the foot of the bed and from across a nurses' station. Will not fade after the 47th sanitizer wipe.
• Adhesive. Repositionable for the first 24 hours. After that, it's committed. Like you, in year 7, telling everyone you're going to leave bedside but, somehow, picking up another double next weekend.

Send it to

For the nurse with a documented coffee schedule. For the friend who has put up the office sign. For yourself, before report.

Pairs with

Pairs with the matching 20oz Tumbler for the cup-holder energy. Or grab the Shift Sticker Pack if you're going to keep buying singles anyway.

Slap it on the tumbler. Let it pre-screen the room.

For nurses who have run a code, charted "patient resting comfortably" while the patient was, in fact, screaming, and considered — fleetingly, in a parking lot, post-shift — leaving and never coming back. This nurse runs on caffeine. Approach with coffee, or GTFO. Built by nurses, tested on night shift. Search-relevant: funny nurse sticker, dark humor nurse sticker, night-shift nurse sticker, nurse week gift, NCLEX gift.